My First Ethics Lesson

I committed a crime over seventy years ago, and I think it's about time I confess, so that I can have peace of mind for my remaining years.

My second-best girlfriend, Frances, lived with her several sisters and brothers at the far end of our street. Her family could have been classed as "deprived". The house was small and disreputable and you couldn't tell where the line lay between the lawn, the back yard and the pig pen. Frances was fun to be with--she was at least two years my senior, so to me she was more or less an "older woman," much more savvy about life than I, and the advice she passed on to me would not have been appreciated by my mother.

For some unknown reason, she and I were trekking through J.J. Newberry's store on a Saturday morning, looking over the newest merchandise. We paused by the nail polish counter and admired all the colors. Next I knew, Frances was pocketing a bottle of nail polish. I said, "You're not supposed to do that!" She countered with, "They'll never miss it. Take one." The temptation was too great and I put one in my pocket, too. Even as I did, I had a terrible guilty feeling. The guilty feeling got even worse when I reached home. Somehow, what I had done didn't square with the Ten Commandments we had been reading about in Sunday School.

The regrets multiplied. I was not a stupid kid. I also suddenly realized I could not wear the polish. Not only could I not afford to buy the polish. My mother would obviously see it on my nails and would ask where I got it, and I knew I could not lie. I was in a quandary--what could I do? I decided to hide the darn thing until I decided, so I put it high on a never used shelf in the garage. That burned in my conscience for at least another week. Finally, I couldn't stand the guilt any longer, and on my next visit to J.J. Newberry's I took the unopened bottle and sneaked it back on the counter, so I could rationalize that I had actually only borrowed it for a little while.

What a relief to have that off my mind. Seventy-plus years of guilt is a terrible thing. I should have been a Catholic! I could have gone to confession the following week!